"Stop! I'll shoot! ". Social network users share funny stories about why they had to stop during sex at a very strange and completely unexpected reasons
Trouble at times happen to all of us, and, as a rule, by the law of meanness they happen at the most inconvenient and did not have available to this point. Is it possible to imagine a more inopportune time for some "pleasant nezhdanchika" from life than straight during sex, when even the most innocent at first glance, little thing is capable of easily, with a single shot, and the spot to kill the right mood and the right intimate atmosphere ?
Well, if you do not believe us, read on, because after our current collections is no doubt you have probably already left.
So today we decided to put together for you a selection of funny stories from social media users who talk openly about the strange and totally unexpected reasons that forced them to "disrupt the emergency brake" in the midst of their fierce battles bedding.
are not asleep Technologies
"fun in bed with his girlfriend when my phone for no apparent reason joined Siri and say" I'm listening! "His frostbitten computer voice. The mood was hopelessly flawed because in the next half an hour I was able to sort out in my head all I know of the conspiracy theory of government that they are being watched, the black helicopters and light bulbs killer. I even away from sin taped webcam on a laptop. "
Children - flowers of life
"When my wife and I in any way a century ceremonially perform the conjugal duty at night in her bedroom, my restless five year old son, who has three hours both had peacefully to sleep, quietly slipped into the room and slapped me a resounding slap on the fifth point shouting: "Daddy, get up! Enough to jump on mom! ". I already told you, I adore children? ".
"So, when I was in college, we had to stop during sex and in a panic call an ambulance, because I, um, accidentally broke my boyfriend spleen. It was in the dorm, there were such narrow uncomfortable bed, and when we tried to change the posture, I accidentally put her elbow into his side. Who knew that he had just suffered mononucleosis, and his spleen was enlarged so that was torn from my shock. These cries of pain I will never forget. "
"Laughter prolongs life"
"I will never forget how my wife farted during sex, and it's so hilarious that laughter is also described straight at me."
The generation of smartphones
"I decided recently to make nice to her husband-a workaholic and offered him oral sex. So when, during the process itself, I accidentally looked up, she saw that this reptile is gaining an e-mail on your phone, you see, it is very important to work. Honestly, I soon will file for divorce. "
"Fish sorry ..."
"We decided to do it on the table, like in the movies, and I accidentally pushed his elbow on the floor an aquarium with her pet goldfish. Fish died. Sorry ... ".
The typical Night and day
"It was very embarrassing to discover that a bunch of pillows and blankets, which we with my ex decided in bystrenkomu to do their job in the midst of the party, in fact, was not a bunch of pillows and blankets, and the back of a complete stranger Man, that was so sober that he decided to lie down to take a nap on the floor. "
"My husband accidentally mistook a bottle of lubricant with a bottle of alcohol hand sanitizer, which stood on the bedside table. All. Then no comment. "
"The coward does not play hockey"
"Once I played hockey, and fell slightly injured his shoulder, so, perhaps, to have sex with his wife, when I was on top, and the rested against the headboard of the most painful hand, it was not the best idea. Needless to say, the shoulder is pumped up, and I fell into her forehead, bridge of the nose. "
"When we arrived at the hospital, they all looked at me like I'm the end-thugs, and the doctor in traumatology took his wife aside and asked if she needed help of social workers, and whether it wishes to write me a statement for domestic violence" .
"My mother is in trouble will not leave!"
"The little daughter of my girls before they are returned home from school and heard the groans from the bedroom. So, instead of being scared or something like that, fine immediately called 911, told the dispatcher that someone got into the house, and then knocked the door to the room (no, the girl was not the Hulk, a door actually kept on snot) and gave me a stool, shouting: "Do not you dare hurt my mommy!". Frankly, I was hoping that my acquaintance with my beloved children will be held somewhat differently. "
"The doctor did not say that it is impossible"
"We had to unexpectedly interrupted because of my wife's water broke. Ahem, well, who knew something? The doctor told us that it is impossible to nine months. "
"This sailor is not afraid of the Red Sea ..."
"When we were doing the most with my boyfriend, I went unscheduled periods. That day I first learned that my beloved is afraid of the sight of blood. He panicked, hit his head on the corner tables and cutting his forehead. That's when the blood was really a lot. He panicked even more and fell off the bed and broke his leg. Amen".
is not waiting time
"I had to be interrupted" mid-sentence, "because my time has ended, the cash with them was not, and she did not take credit cards."