The harsh truth about the real relationship
• The harsh truth about the real relationship
mass culture creates false expectations of intimate and family life. But real life - it's not only joy and happiness. We just have a distorted set of expectations. We are waiting for candy and romance, and get difficulties and quarrels.
The truth is that relationships are never simple. Relationships require compromise. They require the infringement of its interests in the interests of your partner.
Our culture has taught us that love - that feeling. But the reality is that love - it's actually the action. We constantly have to prove it in practice. The only way she could live.
Here are 38 hard truths about relationships that will help you form healthy expectations from them.
1. You will not always like your partner.
2. You will not always feel attracted to your partner.
3. Sometimes you will be very angry (th).
4. You will not always miss each other when at some time will separate you away.
5. From time to time you will be bored together.
6. You will meet people who, as you seem to be at times "better."
7. Periodically, you will feel very lonely.
8. Your partner is not your clone. And reconcile the differences can be difficult and tough.
9. Your heart will then open, then close.
10. Sometimes you will feel attractive (th), sometimes not.
11. Your sex life can be daunting. This is normal.
12. You will not ever want to have sex.
13. Sometimes you can feel indifferent to his partner. 14. Sometimes it will seem that you are associated with. And sometimes it will leave you feeling.
15. True love - it is a struggle, not just pleasure.
16. True love involves fear.
17. Fear does not always look exactly like fear. Sometimes you will feel terrible indifference, irritation or indifference to the husband / wife.
18. The deeper the love, the greater the fear.
19. The deeper the love, the greater the risk. This means that you realize that you can him / her to lose.
20. Sometimes in your head will appear the following thoughts: "I want to leave. I want to try something else. I want to try someone else. " It's just a thought. Their appearance is natural and happens to everyone. But this does not mean that these thoughts are true. Most often, they are a product of fear.
21. Doubtful thoughts (such as those which are discussed above), as a rule, come to you when you're alone in the house. Or when the partner is already asleep.
Remember: true love - it's always a pendulum. Today it seems to you that you can not live without this person, but sometimes you want to never see him more. The greater the experience of living together, the easier it is to accept the reality and the "cage" called "family."
22. You will be surprised at how difficult times may be negotiated with the husband / wife. Many people will inevitably compare their attitudes with respect to another. But be very careful: we all spread in social networks only the best moments of life. And if your friend went to live with a charming girl who looked like Angelina Jolie, it does not mean that he had everything running smoothly and so, as in the photo. 23. Conflicts are inevitable.
24. Always think you're better / fairer their partner.
25. You can periodically lash out and insult each other.
26. Sometimes you will make each other sick.
27. There are too many ways to break the trust. Do not promise.
28. How would you like that no, the past you also bring in their relationship: the pain, children's resentment, pain from past relationships, the pain of the betrayal of friends and girlfriends. And you inevitably will project this hurt each other. We are all just a mirror of our inner world. And in this mirror bad is usually not less than good.
29. Marriage - it's not all. It does not solve any problems. Both of you must continue to grow and develop to the relationship became stronger.
30. Once you have children, will have to get used to that, at least not all of your needs in the first few years will be met. Love for children will have its ebbs and flows. The dynamics in the relationship is not always the same. And the children inevitably will change your daily routine. Not in your favor.
31. There is no doubt that life with small children - a difficult task. Wait. They grow up. And it becomes easier.
32. Sometimes you will feel a just wrath, indignation and a sense that you and your input seriously underestimated. Think of these ideas as part of spiritual growth.
33. You will have to become an adult, serious person.
34. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and apologize first (th).
35. You'll miss the opportunity to leave. Once the two of you grows together into one family, will come to understand that a solid, stable financial foundation under your feet is more important than entertainment. 36. Romance is not necessarily held over the years. You only need to learn how to maintain it.
37. You will feel offended (th). We'll have to look for ways of healing from past hurts. The only way your relationship can grow stronger.
38. You will get old together.
You will witness the aging process. And for the other person to watch is easier than for themselves. Does your wife sooner or later there will be wrinkles, sagging body parts, scars. This can be a source of grief and frustration. And it can be a source of joy, of course, if you're proud of the way for a long time already together.
After reading this list, it is not clear why do people agree on long-term relationships. Is not it easier to be alone? Yes, it is easier, safer and less risky. But close, intimate relationships, the ability to love and be loved - is an opportunity to grow significantly over the former. Relationship - it is a gift and a privilege. Which, however, not everyone is able to enjoy. And the main mistake most people who decide to get a divorce - in the inflated expectations. And the reluctance to support growth and to invest in the relationship.
So save yourself somewhere in this list. Let it serve as a reminder to you that life - it's not ideal. She better.