I was 40, and that 20 of the most important things about life that I realized
In a week I will be 40, and in honor of this event, I decided to write about all the most important that has had time to learn for life ... and I wanted to know and understand much earlier.
We publish the testimony of 40-year-old woman that she had to learn about life.
1. It is important to love and accept yourself completely
I really believe that if love and accept myself for who I am, with its advantages and disadvantages before, I would be able to avoid a lot of stupid mistakes and wrong decisions. It's so easy - and so difficult. It comes through the pain, but brings freedom.
2. Do not forget to feed your soul
It does not matter what inspires you - Try to give your soul what it needs. Try new look of their own, as long as you will not find what gives the interior a feeling of freedom and warmth.
3. It should keep those around
For a long time I tried to control everything in your life, be strong and never ask for support from others. But now I realize that our social relationships, our own network of family and friends - is the main thing that we have. To get them was difficult - so hold on to them and allow yourself to be weak at least sometimes.
4. Do not be ashamed to be present
Sometimes, when I was really tight, the mask that I wore like adheres to my face - mask is self-confident and independent woman. No one knew what I have actually. Know how to reset the mask and to be present to those whom you love and who really loves you. They will appreciate it.
5. Live for yourself, not only for others
A huge part of my life has been devoted to the all-consuming concern for others - sometimes to such an extent that I forget about myself. I thought it would make my life full of - but in fact it is gradually devastated me. Be able to find time for myself - you are no less important than the others, even the closest people.
6. Optional always compromise
I would avoid many unnecessary relations, if realized it when I was younger. The compromise is certainly helpful - but only if it is really a compromise, not a meek compromise. Take care to not only give, but to receive something from the relationship - or throw them if you do not want to meet.
7. Travel! Travels!
This is probably my biggest regret. I managed to travel a bit when I was young and did not have children, and it was very cool. Memories of this - much more valuable than all the things that I could buy. If I had realized this sooner, I would have much more to spend on travel and less - on the new furniture. Travel - it's inspiration and freedom.
8. Less anxiety
I am extremely worried about a lot and did not even try to fight it. It seemed to me that the constant anxiety can help me better control of their lives and the lives of loved ones. But it was not worth it. You see, everything will be in order, regardless of your worries. Just like everything goes it goes. Loosen control and you immediately feel better.
9. Do not compare yourself with others
Stop compare ourselves with everyone. Yes, it is difficult to resist the comparison with, say, a close friend whose life you are well known, but in general, it is normal. However, to compare ourselves with the whole Instagramom - disastrous. There will always be someone who is richer than you, you beautiful, athletic, successful, and so on. N. As soon as you throw away all those useless comparison of the head, life once you seem brighter and brighter.
10. The earlier discard the waiting - the better
Like many other girls, I grew up on the cartoon about the Disney princesses and dreams of a charming prince. With age, I began to appear certain expectations - what should and should not make my choice. The man, whom I married, at first glance, to meet them, but ... it turned out that he is not close to me. The marriage fell apart with a bang, and I threw all their expectations in the trash - and found the dream man, who took the way it is.
11. To live to work rather than work to live
If I again returned to my 20, I would have tried a variety of professions, I would explore their passions and talents and not for anything would not have allowed myself to work like a slave without pleasure - just for the sake of survival. Work should bring not only money - it must really please you, and if this does not happen - to drop it and look for another, his one and nepovotorimuyu.
12. forget to save for old age
Think in advance about what you will live in retirement. In 20 years, it seems that life is infinite and youth - believe me, it is not so, and each of us will have to see this. While you're able to work and earn - Share with itself after 20 years, and 50-year-old you are sure to say thank you myself.
13. It is necessary to give more
Youth selfish, but it is young enough enthusiasm and energy to help the family. Give - this is how to invest in your own soul. There is nothing that warms you with the years, as the awareness of the fact that you helped people - whether it be volunteering, charity, or just help someone weaker than you.
14. Forgive yourself and others
Much too much time I spent on the resentment and anger - and regret it. Resentment destroys the soul of the offended, and yet how many injuries occur simply because of the little things! Learn to forgive, not to put unnecessary obstacles between himself and happiness. The past must remain behind, how painful would it might be, and do not constrain your hands.
15. Why waste time on negative people?
Sometimes, someone hard to get rid of negative example, girlfriend, friend since childhood and is important to you, suddenly becomes jealous and always nagging burden. Stop calling your house in the negative: if people can not understand that should support and encourage each other, to not only take but also to give, then it's not your problem. The same applies to relationships, outdated and turn into a problem: find the strength to break them down and build new.
16. "No" - a complete sentence
There were times when it was very difficult to refuse: I involuntarily sought to ensure that everybody was happy, whatever it may cost me. Even when I had to say "no", for it is often followed by unbearable pangs of conscience. But the older I get, the better I understand that "no" - this is the best barrier between me and all sorts of negative and there is nothing to be ashamed of to erect it more often. Also, do not let others impose their will or you waste your obligations. No - and the point.
17. It should think very carefully before you say "I agree" at the registry office
Half of marriages end in divorce - such statistics, whether you like it or not. And all because, we say "yes" too hastily and spontaneously. If women knew how much pain and guilt carries a divorce, even when it is justified and necessary! Think a hundred times before you go to the registrar.
18. Sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the little things
We live in a world described by Carroll in his "Alice in Wonderland": should run very fast just to stay in place ... and run twice as fast, if you want to get somewhere. But even in this world, among the avalanche of cases, calls and e-mails have to sometimes just stop and admire the starry sky and smell the wildflowers.
19. Stop finally to worry about "what people think"
I wish I could figure it out sooner! Sometimes it seems to me that "the desire to comply" - the root of all our troubles. No, not necessarily look perfect, to behave ideally, be ideal for those whose opinion is like the breeze - fly by without a trace. What do you care, "what will people think?" Of all the useless anxieties, this - the most useless. And yes, you can wear to the beach is a favorite bikini. Of course you can!
20. To love change
The older we get, the worse attitude to change. I think it's all about the illusion of security: it seems that as long as nothing changes, nothing bad can happen. Maybe so, but then nothing good to you, too, are not threatened in a world where everything is stable and predictable. Love to change makes us flexible and adventurous. Try from time to time to change anything - the route, breakfast or furniture: even these little things will bring you a lot of fun.