How to respond to criticism of bias and to turn the tide in their favor
• How to respond to criticism of bias and to turn the tide in their favor
Each of us at least once in a life met with prejudice to themselves - from teachers, bosses, co-workers or other people with whom we somehow have to communicate. In this article we have compiled psychological advice for those who are trying to cope with this problem:
No matter what you think of other people. This is your life and live it to you - not them. Live as you want.
If someone, for no reason at all to you sharpened tooth, do not bother and do not try to "find a reason in itself." For prejudice usually hides a banal self-doubt, attempts to assert themselves and have a lot of different systems. People tend to project their own shortcomings on the other - it is a lot easier than getting rid of them to get rid of.
Agree, you, too, refers to people discriminated against, and probably more than once. Try to remember a few such situations - so you will understand that it is not a person provoked disapproval to her, and you yourself something they invented.
Be independent of other people's opinions quite simple in words, but in reality it is much more difficult. Sometimes it is worth to get angry or take offense to use this negative energy, sending it into a positive.
The demonization of enemies - an approach simple and even pleasant, because in this case you are acting as a positive character, and associates are evil and heartless monsters with whom you are fighting. However, it is worth remembering that in fact all these people just own insecurities victim and subconscious fears, and no worse than others - you are just unlucky to get caught under the hot hand, or rather - the head. There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and openly biased judgments. Sometimes it is worth to listen to the people who criticize you - maybe they're just trying to help you. Our brains are hard to tolerate criticism and equally sensitive to any attack from the outside, but if for a moment to calm down and think about it, you can easily find the above-mentioned difference. So if someone is trying to tell you something important - try to listen.
You should not take it out on other people - you will from this easier still will not, and negativity in the world will only become greater.
Ill contagious. Save your nerves: throw away the bad thoughts out of your head, accept the fact that you can not control other people's minds, and spend time in the company of a pleasant person.
The same caustic comments may come like from someone who just got off on the wrong foot, and from someone who has a day can not live without anyone to trample in the mud. If the case of the latter, it is worth to recall the statement of Tina Fey: "Do not waste your strength in an attempt to dissuade people. Someone else's opinion or better not to notice, or to go ahead - when you stand at the top, the views will change by themselves. Or will not change. What's the difference? Do what you want, and it does not matter, like the rest of it or not. "
Or here is another remarkable statement of Tina: "If you had to face disapproval, whether sexism, ageism, Lookism or even aggressive Buddhism, simply ask yourself," Is this man can stop me to achieve what I want? "If the answer is? negative - do not pay attention and move on. Invest your energy in your own business - so you will likely succeed. If you sign some big boss - do not hire bad people treat you " People who belong to all too biased and pessimistic, simply because they so want to, be sure to turn into a big pain in the ass if they are not to distance in time. Get rid of such people and avoid them in the future.
Understanding and sympathy will be useful to you where you least want them to show. Sometimes they can be used to solve even the most irreconcilable conflict.
Mental attitudes like "I baddest of them all," and "They treat me just because I do the job better than they" usually do more harm than good, because they still contain a negative connotation. So just do not take other people into account. Yes, they can hurt you careless word, but the pain will pass quickly, and your life will be much easier if you just stop to consider these people as an important factor of your peace of mind.
Even the most successful, self-confident and beloved crowd of people had to deal with criticism. If you stop the social disapproval, it is unlikely that you have anything at all happens.
Bias as the phenomenon will always exist - because we all are people. On the other hand, when a person is too busy with his own life, someone else's opinion simply ceases to excite.