6 challenging questions about parenting
No single official rulebook on parenting, so parenthood has been and will be filled with a mass of controversial topics. Is it safe to kiss the baby's lips, whether to make him eat, at what age you can leave him alone - looking for answers to important questions in the life of every mother and father.
1. Whether it is necessary to put to bed with an infant?
Pediatrician Dr. Rachel Y. Moon does not recommend sleeping with young children in the same bed. Take the child to bed, only to feed or soothe. If there is a chance that a mother can doze next to the baby, it is necessary to make sure that you are not near pillows, sheets, blankets, and other items that accidentally lay a child's head. As soon as you wake up, it should be moved to the crib immediately.
With regard to sleep with older children - this is a personal choice of parents.
2. At what age should teach a child to potty?
Experts advise not to force the child to use the potty before he will be ready for it.
Most children are physiologically ready to toilet in 18 months. This means that their digestive system and bladder have matured to such an extent that they have learned to endure plenty of time to get to the pot. However, cognitively they can mature much later - that is, being able to link the need for a bowel movement with the pot and constantly keep this in mind. In addition, the development of motor skills are important - to get to the pot, to cope with the clothing, sit still. Thus, to show the child a pot, to explain why we need it, and try to plant is possible already at 1, 5-2 years, but if he resists, do not insist.
3. Is it safe to kiss children on the mouth?
Kissing children - this is normal, but it is worth to take some precautions, says pediatrician at Children's Hospital Hassenfeld in New York, Robert Jacobson. Kissing babies and children, you can give them herpes, streptococci, stomach and respiratory viruses, bacterial infections. Parents should limit the friends, family members and other children from kissing with her baby.
4. Is it worth it to force a child to eat?
A healthy child is able to monitor how much food he needs, starting from the inner feelings of hunger and satiety. Any attempt to force the child to eat - food is the violence that results in psychological trauma and eating disorders in adult life.
The main thing - as a parent responds to a child refuses to eat certain foods, does not want to try something new or even to eat. According to child psychologist Center for the Study of children at New York University Langone Health Stephanie Wagner, during meals is especially important to avoid stress and negative emotions. You need to remain calm and in no case do not threaten or punish the child.
The best thing a parent can do - regularly provide child a varied selection of healthy food, even if the baby has previously refused this product. In addition, it is important to have lunch and dinner together, so that by their example to show proper eating behavior. It does not matter how much the child has eaten at the table, even if it seems to you that it is very small, do not force him to eat more.
5. Can I spank children?
According to most researchers of family relationships, spanking is not an effective way to discipline children and affects them in the long run.
A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology in 2017, which collected data for 50 years on more than 160 000 children, ties aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems, low self-esteem, negative relationships between parents and children with cognitive decline child.
Later studies at Michigan State University say that adults who are spanked as children are more likely to suffer from depression and had used banned substances.
This does not mean that parents should not set firm boundaries for children and rules, but physical punishment - is not an option.
6. At what age can leave the child alone?
In some US states have a law limiting the age at which children can stay home alone. For example, in Illinois - 14 years, Origone - 10 years, Maryland - 8.
In the Russian legislation there is a clearly defined age at which a child can be left home alone. There is an article 61Cemeynogo Code that parents are responsible for minor children, there are regional laws prohibiting underage children in the street after a certain time. Life circumstances are different, and not every parent has the opportunity to keep the child in the care of 24 hours a day to 18 years. As all children develop individually before deciding whether the child is ready to stay alone, ask yourself a few questions:
- Do the rules of the child to respect and if he takes the right decisions more often?
- How did he react to the unfamiliar and stressful situations?
- Does the child know what to do if the doorbell rings a stranger?
- Does the child know your full name, address and phone number?
- Does he know where you are and how to contact you?
- How safe is your neighborhood and your home?