12 things you do unconsciously because abyuza childhood
This week we decided to dedicate the coverage of domestic violence issues - those which deal sister Khachaturian, and those faced by millions of women around the world throughout their lives. Emotional abuse in childhood is considered to be "invisible", as it leaves no physical marks. What is often overlooked, is the fact that the effects of this treatment extends to adulthood, affecting self-esteem, attitudes and ability to build relationships.
Heroine gathered a few examples of how unstable childhood in the family can affect your behavior in adult life.
New people in your life may feel that you have closed, is not interested in a new relationship, or even arrogant. Discrepancy is that you're just too learned to be cautious and restrained and struggling to not scare the new interlocutor their concerns. It is better to suffer in silence and let everyone think you're okay, you give somebody else a chance to hurt you.
Any can worry about what to get a conviction for error - and they will certainly take place, because you are an ordinary person. You can be the best manager of the company with meters peaking, but still worry about before you talk with the director, feeling like a little kid. With high probability, this is due to the fact that your parents really paid much attention to your slips and falls flat.
Do not know how to say "no"
Stable association: if you say "no," mom or dad will be angry, shout or even beat. Even if they no longer exist side by side, you can still unconsciously follow this rule and to accept all that you offer. One simple word is fraught with great history - fortunately, these effects can work.
afraid to change something
Even a simple solution that you need to change your hairstyle or even shampoo, can cause you fear and doubt, if you were raised parents abyuzery. Children in these families are constantly worried about the choices they make, because it does not tend to trust yourself. Decisions are always taken by someone else, and in adult life, this leads to the fact that you are inclined to go easy on the thumb.
I apologize for the behavior of others
If you notice for a fact you are constantly looking for a logical explanation for the bad actions of others, you take the responsibility for everything that happens, even apologizing for the actions of their relatives - most likely it was the result of serious psychological problems of childhood. Your parents could not believe in you, ridicule and blame their own shortcomings, and this translates into an irrational fear that others will condemn you. Embarrassment and shame - the main components of a ruined self-esteem, and it should begin to deal with them.
There are too many to ponder
People who were brought up in a toxic environment, constantly contemplating and analyzing every word. If in your mind any dialogue looks like a branch quest in the game, in which one of the phrases you can lose everything - you still remain a victim abyuzivnogo parental behavior.
to underestimate its problems
Problems with self-esteem leads to another internal conflict - you are inclined to underestimate the problems. If you grew up with toxic mother, the likelihood is high that you convince yourself and others that your problems are not so important, yet so much is really suffering in the world.
to hush up the problem
Worked through childhood traumas can easily harm when dealing in adulthood. For example, you stop to defend its borders during the dialogues. The interviewee can not polite to interrupt you, but you did not put it in place and will not return itself conventional microphone - count yourself boring and unworthy opinion. All this leads to the fact that you gradually acquire a reputation as the silent type, although the case in fear of confrontation.
demonstriruesh childish behavior
People who survived childhood in a toxic environment, may pretend that they have no problems at all - they simply maloemotsionalny. If you call the Iron Lady herself, and you are inclined to consider himself a cruel man - should think about whether you do not hide all of the emotional pain that you had to endure.
Fear of physical contact and proximity - that incorporates a variety of toxic situation of victims. Even a small touch your fingers to the hand may be enough to cause a panic attack - especially if your parents use physical violence as an educational measure.
Are you afraid of death close
It is normal to fear any man can be a real problem in situations where you are so afraid of losing people around that you begin to repel them first. New people simply can not find in your approach, you're limited to any emotional connection to avoid pain in the future.
In the moments when the pressure and the expectations of others are too large - people from toxic families begin to hurt themselves. It does not have to be physical abuse like cuts and scrapes: refusal of food and water also come under the category of self-Harm.