Guilty-free: how to stop blaming herself
American psychologists refer to guilty-free term marketing phenomenon that occurs more frequently in advertising: do not feel guilty for what you watch reality shows, eat after six, you follow his principles. It seems that everything about pleasure - is closely related to the fault. Millenialy often do not allow themselves to do what they want because they believe that it does not deserve. Even if you agree to follow their desires - a little worm still chews you up inside and spoils all the fun.
Studies show that wine - an ineffective way of controlling their behavior. For example, in the report of 2013 of the journal Appetite psychologists have reported that people who feel guilty for eating chocolate cake to have more problems with the loss and maintenance of weight. Instead of being motivated - wine leads to feelings of helplessness and a feeling of loss of control. Fortunately, there are several ways to get rid of this feeling, and to rebuild their lives.
you did not know before what is now know
Unfair and even cruel to blame yourself that you did the wrong, and that it was possible to avoid this, if you would know how it will end. Let's say you have a feeling of guilt because of the fact that frustrated girlfriend asked her to come, and you refused because you already had plans that are inconvenient to change. The next day you will know that she drank too much and started to call the former, and this led to bad consequences. Naturally enough for a person to begin to blame yourself that you were not there to stop her. But you could not predict what happened later. Remember that many of the situations in which you feel guilt, arise from the fact that you're trying to be responsible for other people's behavior, it should not.
Say to yourself that you did everything possible
Perhaps you were too excited, hurt, depressed or just tired to fully be able to choose a certain path. I agree that, given your mental or physical conditions that dominated at the time you make a decision, you could not do otherwise.
Allow yourself to self-forgiveness - and his best understanding of themselves. Learn more in detail the circumstances that affected you, and get rid of the negative perception of the consequences.
You are not to blame for what has not been damage
If you imagine the terrible situation in which you are with a friend got into an accident and escaped with a couple of bruises when he found himself with a broken collarbone in the hospital, it is quite normal to feel guilty. It's called "survivor guilt", which tends to most people on the planet - even though it is no reason because you could not prevent the incident. Remind yourself of what has happened - a pure accident, and that the survival of any disaster - not something for which he should be ashamed.
The people have the right to make mistakes
If you are less nervous and are not afraid to make a mistake, it is in itself reduces the likelihood of miss. Any problem that you have there, is not necessarily your responsibility. Anyone can miss something in mind, more importantly, what you do after. It should be clear whether there is in this a valuable lesson that you can make to prevent a recurrence, as well as to understand what is behind your reluctance to forgive yourself. You - the same people, like everyone else, why should you take care of yourself less?
Your ideals imposed and unreal
It is likely that you have already set for themselves too lofty ideals or they were imposed on your immediate environment - family or partnrami. You feel guilty for something that is not sootvetstvuesh someone, but every person has their limit. When you say that you are spoiling everything it touches, and not enough to try, it's not necessarily what you really need. Moreover, the obsessive pursuit of perfection - a perfect environment for the development of low self-esteem.
recognize the right to self-interest
It is difficult to deny a person, and you will feel guilty for what I said "no"? Think how much you really morally responsible for what you have asked for. Of course, we are not talking about how to become selfish and lose all conscience. On the contrary, generosity and help others - a laudable position to which all should aspire to this planet. But remember that you are entitled to something, to meet their own needs first.
If you strive to please others, ignoring their needs, try to think about what can be the source of such self-restraint. Do you really believe that people will not like you if you refuse them something? Why you laid down a program that regularly prompts you to put the needs of others above yourself? Having set such questions, you can begin to overcome their own anxiety.