How to deal with those who always breaks promises

How to deal with those who always breaks promises

Why does a man who only yesterday argued that wants to see, is no longer to take up five minutes before the meeting? The next day, he would call and say, that I forgot, I did not, ill, discharged mobile phone. All of these reasons ring true, only the first couple of times.

I have long perceived such antics at his own expense, until I realized that some people are not capable of pathologically keep his word. You can not always completely exclude such a person out of your life, so to find a way to protect themselves from its influence.

According to the expert on health and relationships Caleb Beck, at the chronic inability to fulfill the promises can be different reasons:

Maybe these people are depressed or trying to solve a personal problem or another in their lives, and it takes too much of their attention. In other cases, a person can just be lazy - all of these scenarios requires its own unique approach to the solution.

Here are some tips for communicating with unreliable people who will help you not to become hostage to someone else's unreliability.

Find out what the problem is

Try to find out what prevents a person to meet their obligations. Try to avoid accusations and an aggressive tone. The question in the spirit "and not whether you're an asshole hour?" Is certainly true, but only complicates understanding.

Give it clear that you want to help, can have its behavior is an objective reason. If a person continues to make excuses and pretended he did not understand what the problem is - it is also valuable information. Now you know that before you incorrigible balabol, and rely on it not worth it.

to talk about their feelings

How to deal with those who always breaks promises

When you try to explain to someone that they are suffering from insecurity, use "I" -zayavleniya. Concentrate on how it affects you. Explain what it is like when a person is always late, does not respond to the message, ignoring your requests. This will help him to look at it from your point of view.

Not always people break promises purposely often to blame lightheadedness.

Remind him that you can always say "no"

Some people just do not know how to refuse, than to create a lot of problems and embarrassing situations. It is easier to say "yes" in a private conversation, and then think of a reason why they could not. If you got just such a person, try not to put pressure on him, and recalled that he can always refuse.

We can help an uncertain person to listen to your desires and do not hesitate to express them. This will allow him to see how he created this destructive cycle of broken promises, and break it.

Give it clear that it does not intend to tolerate

How to deal with those who always breaks promises

Sometimes a man continually breaks promises because he knows - he get away with it. To put it bluntly, it is no longer able to trust someone who does not hold a word. You should be strong, firm and not be carried out for the next excuse. If you realize that it's not his uncertainty or real problems, then you have become a victim of the manipulator. It is not necessary to coddle them and allow the use of this pattern of behavior.

Do not rely on it

Now the Council is quite clear in theory, but not so simple in practice: stop relying on an unreliable person. We often believe their excuses, invent their own, angry after a disappointment, but we continue to think that this time he did not have the nerve to deceive you.

If you are forced to deal with those who break promises, try to build a relationship so that its unreliability had no effect on your life. He was always late - to appoint a time for 15-30 minutes before the start of the meeting. If you need his help, enlist even someone's support in order to have a backup plan.

In any case, regardless of the cause of irresponsible behavior, you should not always be understanding and justify it by saying that "it is just such a person." There is no objective reason not to respect your own time and needs. Do not hesitate to interrupt communion with those who gives you their problems is not necessary.