Mom asks grandchildren: how do you know whether you want to have children

50 years ago, motherhood was the main goal for a woman, but now creating a family is not on the priority. If you're not sure whether you want to have children, how to make the right decision? If marrying the wrong man - you can always get a divorce. If you start a career in the field of the unloved - quit and try something else. Move in the wrong direction - again gather things and you will find a new home. But the child will be under your responsibility at least the next 18 years, but in reality - the rest of your life. These four key questions will help you decide whether you really want to have a baby and ready for this.

Do not let your personal circumstances to divert

When you're trying to take such a serious decision, you can spend a lot of time to analyze your finances or the nature of your relationship with your partner. Ultimately, it can distract you from the real problem.

It is better to think about whether you are able to donate some of his life, to give the child more love and attention? Your time on his career, hobbies, friends and sex may well be reduced, though many couples and find the perfect balance between them and care about the children.

Yes, the financial issue is also impossible to get round. According to media reports, the infant in the first year will need about 90 thousand rubles, and a lot of time to find an inexpensive strollers, cribs and other necessary things. With proper planning, however, this amount is quite feasible, so do not give up on the idea because that number seems unrealistic. A child deserves to appear in the house, where there is emotional stability. If you are in a complex and intricate relationships necessary to postpone the decision on the later and try to deal with what is happening in your pair. Many people mistakenly believe that having a child will help to get closer. In fact, a new member of the family will only increase the amount of stress.

Forget the shame

A lot of women feel lonely and feel guilty when they can not decide whether they want to become a mother. At the same time, more than half of pregnancies in the country - unplanned. Someone realizes that this pregnancy is just not wanted, and some would like to postpone it to later. In any case, you are not alone can have such feelings.

Another popular question is that you do not like to play with other people's children. Suddenly, and his love will not fully? Many people want to hurry to wait for the moment when the child becomes a "little adults", to meet their own selfish needs in communication. Fortunately, during the infancy sweep very quickly.

At the same time, we continue to live in the social life. Though the role of the mother in the last 100 years much has changed, everyone wants to be the perfect parent. Walk into any bookstore - will be a lot of cabinets with directories and books on motherhood. It is no wonder that we begin to feel as though it is too challenging. But each person has their own strengths and weaknesses. In fact, anyone can cope with education - in its own way.

Define your fears

Play an important role in fear of your indecision. Some of them are natural and understandable, but some need to work. The most common is the fear of losing a partner or relationship that port as well as the fear of regret about his decision. Some of the fears related to the fact that you are afraid of being a bad mother, or your physical condition will deteriorate during pregnancy. Rather than ignore this list, it is necessary to understand where these fears come from. In your family do not have enough love, or methods of education your mother seem to be inadequate? A competent psychologist will help you understand what prevents you, an adult, move on.

Assess whether you have enough support from your family, there is an opportunity to bring to the education of relatives, day or night nanny. Take some measures to improve the situation. It may be wise to rent an apartment close to the family or to negotiate with the leadership of the new work schedule to be able to earn money during the decree.

Discuss with your partner how you can raise children. Who will be involved in it completely? Who will take a maternity leave, or you both will be able to divide responsibilities? That he considers it appropriate in educational methods, and that - is totally unacceptable? Imagine a few hypothetical situations, such as if one of you gets sick, what will make the other? Think about how you can improve the relationship, until the baby is born.

What is whatever you decide, remember that it is your choice

You still have to choose, and it's only your decision. You should not take such a drastic step because a gynecologist at the local hospital advised generations to align the menstrual cycle, or getting rid of acne, or because you're afraid of losing your partner. I understand and what is now the pregnancy is not an obligation, unless you entered into a marriage contract with the Prince of Saudi Arabia.

And, of course, it is worth remembering that many women say that the emotions produced by birth and upbringing of a child is worth it to give up some areas of life. How many people - so many opinions, and you are not obliged to make excuses for his decision to anyone.