Why do you like so much suffering

According to some experts, stress is much more important in life than is commonly believed. Obviously, stress - it is a negative phenomenon that prevents us to enjoy life, to do their work, and generally causes suffering. But, according to several studies, many people become dependent on negative feelings and can not live without them - like without cigarettes, the need for sweet or, in worst-case scenarios, without alcohol or drugs. We decided to look into the matter and tell us why you like so much to suffer, and how to recover from this addiction.

In search of doses of hormones

Our psychology is arranged so that it is often in trouble and suffering can lead us to positive emotions, and against which there is addictive. This is due not only to the psyche, so do not look at the deviation, but a physiological factor can not be excluded. The thing is that stress - it is a biological process, which is necessary for an organism to survive difficult situations. Hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, are beginning to stand and fight the attacks of the outside world. Thanks to them, we can cope with anxiety before an important event, and to succeed, if we are faced with a lofty goal. The presence of these substances in the blood activates the muscle and brain activity, which is not connected with the senses, but directly working on it to make trouble allies of the body and psyche.

Such a state can be compared to a stay in the euphoria that bring any other addictive substances. Cigarette, drugs, alcohol - it works just as well as the stress on trying to force the muscles to contract. However, unlike narcotic drugs or other physical dependence, the effects of stress and the action of adrenaline and cortisol continue to influence our state much longer. Instead just take it easy, we continue to feel fatigue, irritation and stress, as chronic stress causes hormones are released in the future. The next stage of this attraction is quite expected: Problems with hair, skin, weight, heart and digestive system. In other words, we need to own their own hormones, but because you can not contribute to their recovery, we are looking for stress, unconsciously or not. A specialist in the field of psychology and author of "stress dependence" Debbie Mandel says the following: You begin to need a constant struggle with stress, like a drug addict. To cope with the everyday challenges such as deadlines or working boredom, you continue to search for sources of adrenaline, completely unaware that your body is not yet departed from the last "dose." This also applies to the phenomenon of "workaholism" that causes people to constantly load a large amount of stress to get another jolt of hormones.

Pleasure and sublimation

But not only hormones make us step on the same rake. The fact that society is made to discuss issues with each other and strive for a more active lifestyle, makes us experience stress, but so often that we begin to believe that it is there is our happiness. To the question "How are you?" You can often hear answers such as "I'm too busy", "I had a crazy day", "I'm going crazy from his work," and so on. Thus, the degree of employment becomes an indicator of success and self-importance, and the constant use of devices reinforces a similar "active" life, not letting you relax and unwind from the problem even during a lunch break or after work. Waiver of these things seem crazy: "What if I miss something?" "It's a good opportunity," "I need to be in touch," "I feel good, I'm so happy. It is necessary to check, has not anyone. " Stress! We need him as the air. Spinning constantly, like a squirrel in a cage, but would not experience this break-up of free time.

Oh, and the icing on the cake - it is, of course, money, a constant need that makes us work above the norm established by the body. Fear of work with yourself on a deeper and more complex level than everyday problems, forcing us to avoid free time. Constantly work, organizing meetings and seeking his - it's not only the ingredients for success, but also a great excuse to not have to deal with yourself.

In 2014, scientists conducted an experiment in which participants were asked to spend time alone. As a result, most of the participants felt uncomfortable due to the fact that they had to be alone with my thoughts for more than 6-15 minutes.

If we move fast enough, then we will have no time to think, to understand, and most importantly, to recognize that in our lives there is something that no longer suit us. Many of dissatisfactions reach too complex level, just to solve them, so we have to resort to such sublimation, hide behind the endless stream of duties and affairs. In the same way drug addicts or alcoholics hide their problems in their relationship. But it's an escape from the happiness.

How to stop suffering and to become happier?

Habituation to stress arises due to a number of unresolved problems within ourselves. But as long as we hide behind the whole mass of important things our bodies desperately needs a rest, getting a new charge of hormones from us. As strange as it may sound, but a panacea against such harmful lifestyle is very simple - rest. If this sounds ridiculous to you, then pay attention to how you spend your days. For healthy lifestyle are not only popular trends and tempting photos in Instagrame, but also common sense - when you're tired and need to rest; if you are confused, it is necessary to understand, and do not seek to escape work. If only it was as simple as it sounds, then everything would go healthy and happy, but relaxation is as difficult to bring into your life, as well as give up bad habits. Here are a few tips on what you can do:

1. Turn off the gadgets even if the evening

Try not to use the gadgets in the evenings. At least in order not to get involved in the work or revisioning of all that is in your news section. It is better to turn on the show and just rest. Do not allow yourself to respond to business emails or address any other important things to do after sunset - all important wait until the morning, and you need to recharge. If you give up on your phone for the evening - it's even more stressful for you, then try to give yourself at least 20 minutes of total absence in the virtual world.

2. Abandon complicated friends

People who made today called "toxic" - is not a myth, but it is a realistic scenario. What was once thought you difficulties in communication, differences in character, now may be one of the reasons why you are constantly under stress. Such people have a feature to attract us, because unconsciously we strive to overcome them, to correct, or at least to overcome the difficulties that fate threw.

But if you look at it sensibly, the evening which you can spend at home, in peace and quiet, far more productive than communication with a man who can deprive you of balance. Such friends should be replaced by people who can support you if your reality is cracked, which always listen and give an adequate assessment of what is happening and not become a catalyst of another nervous breakdown.

3. abstracts

Psychologists advise to abstraction as an active method of dealing with problems. If you start to think about them in the third person, then you will be much easier not to identify with them, which will leave if necessary. "I need to do this thing, thank you for reminding me. But first, I'll do a little break, and then will deal with everything. " This healthy procrastination can help you relax and at the same time to perform the necessary tasks.

4. Exercising

Sports - this is the best way to deal with stress, as regular muscle stress relieve stress and keep you in good shape. It is also a great way to throw out the aggression and call for help endorphin, which will stress hormones who is the boss. But if you're in a very stressful condition, the psychologists are advised to remain within the house, as the focus is on your mood can cause an accident such as an accident, until you decide to go for a run and had forgotten that you go around the car.

5. Relaxing

Relaxation - is not only meditation and being in silence, alone with his thoughts, but also the things that bring you pleasure. Food, art, dance, sex - all great ways to relax, most importantly, to find time on them.

"I'm too busy to go to the dance," "I'm too tired to have sex," "I have no time for art" - this is not your case, go and have a rest, or go mad.

6. Be at the priority of

Remember that for all the daily chores necessary tired and in need of attention figure - you. Whether in his priority, especially on your shoulders rests a large number of responsibilities. Do not deny yourself what you want it, and right now, just because you need to work, to run to a meeting, "take care" of someone else. Remember that if your bowl is empty, you can not help anyone.