Ordinary sexism: men's everyday phrases that demean women

In psychology, there is the concept of "veiled rudeness" when the interlocutor is trying to catch you in a simple trap, wrapped in a soft form of insult compliment. The simplest version of "How well you picked up a suit, do not even believe you're from a small town!". One would think: that's praise, the well-chosen suit, so - the sense of taste. But the subtext of destroying all the positive effect, because the second half of "compliment" clearly alludes to the fact that you are a provincial simpleton. And if you start to resent in response to veiled rudeness, the interviewee happily said: "The very thought of everything, I did not say anything."

Sexism in everyday life manifests itself in the same way - veiled. Men say the usual phrases, which are also sometimes take the form of "compliments", but the implication of these phrases is clearly derogatory and grow out of gender stereotypes.

"Smile!"

The innocent can offer more to smile be adequate only in a few cases. For example, if you ask for advice on how to gain people. Or how to tease an aggressive dog. In most cases, the men say this sentence is almost no reason, as a universal advice to any women's issues. After all, the stereotype of the girl should be charming, kind, sympathetic and always smile like a model on the cover of glamor magazine.

A woman should smile only when she wants it, not because society pushes it to that permanent status. Of course, we all look with a smile more beautiful than frowning faces. But who has more to gain from the fact that we look more beautiful? We ourselves with a bad mood, which did not raise no forced smile, or men who want to see the always enjoyable "glossy" girls?

"good for the girl you get"

This is a classic example of backhanded compliment. On the one hand, your services in some case actually noted and recognized. On the other hand, this phrase produces a significant share of distrust of your forces. And this lack of confidence, not because you initially seemed insufficiently qualified for any business, but simply because you are female. As if there is a list of special cases that only men can do well.

If you praise a similar phrase for raising stapyatidesyatikilogrammovoy rod, the subtext is really not. Women really are inferior to men in physical strength, there is nothing to be done. In all other cases - it is an insult that can even be unconscious. After all, thousands of known examples of women who lead perfectly planes and solve complex equations, so that the "male" and "female" cases does not exist.

"Chill / Relax / Relax / Calm down"

It is not known when and who vetoed the display of emotions, but men are always trying to "sound off" any girl who has shown the temperament. By this we mean not breaking dishes or discarding smartphone out the window, and any emotional utterance on a particular occasion. A man may be angry and scold terrible words colleague, a nearby driver or the President of another country and ask him to calm down, no one will, because it is "righteous anger." And if she gets mad because hamovatye saleswoman in a shop or a bad day, then it was immediately branded a hysterical and unbalanced. Between hysteria and the manifestation of emotions - a huge gap, which can be seen with the naked eye. If you are asked to be silent in response to the natural reactions, it means that your inner world simply do not want to deal with, because they do not consider it important.

"Great legs!"

"Legs," "chest" or "ass" - no matter what part of the body is trying to praise a man. As soon as he ceases to perceive you as a pretty girl completely and begins to "break down into pieces" and evaluate them separately, as in the meat department ( "excellent beef legs, wrap!") - it is bad. Compliment ceases to be a compliment, and turns into a real rude and tactless.

We would like to say about the "beautiful eyes", since it is not entirely a mental "dismemberment" of the woman. Rather, it is a clumsy attempt to metaphorically express my admiration for the inner world of women. However, this value had a compliment for a long time, and the frequent use of the phrase in various ambiguities and greasiness long ago destroyed the value of the "beautiful eyes" as a real compliment. It can make the heart only person you know for a long time, and which has for you something more than simple sympathy with nodding or first acquaintance. Otherwise compliment turns to vulgarity.

"Be thankful that ..."

It is often prescribed to women to be grateful for any manifestation of good or even a normal relationship with another person. But "be thankful" and "thank" - two different things. If a man has helped to bring to you a heavy bag, it is a chance to thank him and to celebrate his good manners and gentlemanly, but the reasons to be grateful there yet. Even worse, when the phrase mentioned in the metaphorical sense. "Be grateful that he invited you to the restaurant" - this kind of phrases do not occur only from the lips of men, but even from the lips of women. Girls "are trained" to enjoy every detail and every manifestation of the attention that shows disdain for the female sex in general. The protest against such stereotypes is not purely a feminist position, and appeals to the mind of any person, regardless of belief.

"Your attire distracts me"

Dress codes regulate women's dress than men, and this is no accident. Even in the most severely exposed for some men office style manage to find fault with the too deep neckline or skirt is too short, because the parameters of the "too", each different. Of course, there are reasonable limits, and if out of the clothes seen underwear (or lack thereof!) Then it's overkill for any girl. But if the man manages to get distracted because of the bare knees or your own fantasies, it's not your problem, and the problem of his education, imagination and self-control.

The next stage of development of this phrase - "She provoked me, because I was dressed as a girl of easy virtue". Quite often glimpsed in the news, is not it?