Until divorce do us part: the sad story of modern marriages
The problem of marriage and divorce is still relevant, since modern statistics more than sad. A large number of divorces, domestic assault, a woman left with children. On belief of psychologists, this is mainly because many people marry for a variety of ridiculous reasons, but one of the true - to build a family. We decided to deal with the fact, what are the mistakes committed women and men, being married, which couples waiting for a happy ending, and who only have to fill up divorce statistics.
What is unhappy marriage
Statistics show that families really happy today, very little. Among the 11,000 households surveyed there were 3 thousand happy. These statistics are very sad, because it is a happy family can be considered a normal family, otherwise it can be seen as two unhappy people live together and gradually spoil each other's lives.
Why do so many Russian families are unhappy? The answer again lies at the roots - education. Few people in the world today knows how to be chosen partner. According to the results of social survey, which polled said a few words and offered to choose one that is best suited for a declaration of love, the majority (75% women) preferred the phrase "I can not live without you," the other phrases such as "I you never hurt "and" Let's pull the strap life together "went unheeded.
This statistic shows that most women are accustomed to the fact that marriage - this relationship of two people from each other. Indeed, if we omit all the romance of such a declaration of love, then we can see that love is not here and not there, and there is a very strong attachment that prevents build their lives properly. In the same survey, it became clear that the most logical sentence was supposed to be, "Let's pull the strap life together." But you can understand why it is so uncomplicated recognition could scare people. It's very simple: no one wants to pull this same strap. Marrying, people hope that the difficulties of life somehow miraculously bypass it by their side. And if they will not pass, one of them for sure will draw. It's not that any marriage is doomed to a sad end, and that complexity necessarily the case with everyone, and to find out with what kind of person you can easily survive these challenges, and to which they will multiply only - your task.
Love marriage priori considered as happy and strong, but the reality is that love does not always save the marriage. Why? Where does it go? The fact that this love will never go away. Partners interested in a future together and looking in the same direction, as a rule, keep your senses, allowing them to be transformed into something new, even stronger. Those for whom love was the only physical attraction, an illusion or a pathological affection, always will rest in his own disappointment.
Another problem is the Russian mentality in the phrase "There is nobody to love." In a society of lazy, insecure, disappointed in yourself or simply daffodils, you can often find the belief, "I would have liked, but there is nobody." But it is worth considering: a whether you are capable of love, rather than just a "sucker", which is seen through the word "marriage"? If by the time you decide that you are ready to create your family, you have not learned how to choose a partner with whom this same family can be constructed even love marriage will be doomed to failure.
What do you need for happiness
Modern psychologists believe that for two people able to join the social happy marriage, especially each of the spouses must have the individuality and independence, particularly financial. Argue with that statement is not necessary, since most of today's marriages and marriages that were entered into a couple of decades ago, is far different incomes. Too many people are getting married at a very young age at which the financial independence and stability of the views of talk makes no sense. Support for parents - is, of course, a good thing, but for a new happy and strong family has nothing to do.
The problem with most modern women is that they do not know how and do not know how to choose partners. Before you marry, you must become a man and to become a woman, persons whose views converge matters of life vision; individuals, who were able to achieve something, who know what they want, who set goals and achieve them. They are interested in to find themselves wives or husbands person, who would like the same thing, and they are, without needing to re-educated him, pitied, and unraveling multiple nodes complexes and "injuries". In other words, for a happy marriage needs a healthy man and a healthy woman, not two confused and frightened people desperately trying to prove to each other who will do more. After all, if you look at the banal family problems, it is clear where their roots are growing. Izmena example. Treason is due to the fact that someone originally chose not to partner a husband or wife. And now, after many years, and perhaps soon, this person understands that it is not happy, is not satisfied.
He has a few scenarios: go "left" accidentally found "the very" or to endure and suffer, putting an end to all that is possible.
Then at least frequent and more sad topic of domestic violence - another outcome of an unhappy marriage, where spouses are not able to build a family right. Continue to a number of problems can be, but the message is clear: people need to be happy held, do not agree to put up with a view to make someone a man, they need that person now.
What to do with children and age
Which would not seem seditious the thought, but many marriages break up because of the children. No, of course, children are in no way to blame, blame the parents, who live only for the sake of children. Think of another woman-mother, screaming that she give anything for the sake of their children, unless such statements do not cause the righteous batthert? The fact that the children - it's not a family. Family - all its members together, living happily, developing as a person. Pay attention only to your children, to sacrifice for the sake of them all is fraught with yet another sad outcome - ingratitude. Many women just go crazy when their children begin to grow up. But such a state of affairs. Children grow up and leave their families to build - this is normal, as it should be, but the husband and wife should stay together. That is why a woman must remember not only the child, but also about her husband, exactly the same as a man should remember his wife. Happiness and health to grow your child so that he fluttered as soon as possible an independent life, for having this knowledge and capabilities. What to do with women later in life? If a woman has learned to be a woman and does not know what should be a good wife, then no matter how many years it may be, it can not be happy. But the widespread stereotype says that women under the age no one is interested. This is the problem. Women age - this person held more than possessing independence, experience and wisdom. Who would not want this? They have a much better chance to build a strong family than that of young graduates of universities or schools. Similarly, the more mature men are much more advantages - of course, if they are to this very mature age did anything for their development.