7 phrases, due to which people wrongly understand you
Hurt a man can be even with the best intentions. Often the words that we speak, irritate others, even though you do not invest in them any harm. Here are a few common phrases, due to which people correctly understand you.
1. I'm sorry, but
This phrase we often try to soften the bad news, but it does not always work that way. In the words "I'm sorry, but" a contradiction: all that you say to the "but" is canceled words spoken after. If you take away his regret back.
It is better not to use the phrase "I'm sorry" in the same sentence with the bad news - not for a bunch of words, or to mitigate the above. Want to show sympathy - say, "I'm worried about you," "I'm sorry that it happened," "You have my condolences," and even "I'm sorry", but after the negative words and some phrases.
2. When one door closes, another opens
Attempts to comfort a loved one too often seem annoying. In a moment of desperation, this pseudo-philosophers is meaningless, such words are only to at least say something.
It is much more appropriate expression, "When one door closes, another opens" at a time when your friend or a friend something finally happened. Now it is certainly not empty words.
3. Suppose that I say brutally, but honestly
The most cruel words often hide behind good intentions. Remember that even if a person commits an obvious nonsense, and you want to prevent this and I am sure he is right - you can not for someone else to decide what is best for him.
Before you say what upset companion, always worth asking permission: "Can I be totally honest with you," "Are you ready to hear what I really think." So you give the person an opportunity to answer "no." But even if he agreed to your honesty, I do not need to think twice before you hurt someone.
4. You need to calm down the
Hardly anyone ever ceased from that phrase. You want to keep people from hasty decisions, but often he hears in these words: "You are not adequate." Of course, few people can recognize this in a fit of emotion, so that such a phrase is repulsive.
Do not try to dictate to the man that he should feel and what they should avoid.
5. I'm so, what is
People say, well, when trying to explain to someone their own values or principles. But around often perceive these words in a distorted way. The phrase "I am a man" sounds for those who can hear, "I'm not open to compromise and is not ready to change." Better just to emphasize their values and explain why this or that is unacceptable thing for you, rather than trying to get rid of the words "I'm so, what is".
6. You have no reason to be upset
Another attempt to comfort the person, which is nothing but irritation, not causes. What happened, it seems important, since there are such emotions. Trying to convince him that nothing happened, it devalues feelings interlocutor.
We all have different mentality: someone lose everything he had, and will remain positive, and for someone to quarrel with a cashier in a supermarket - the whole tragedy. Do not assess the extent of someone's experience on its own, better let him live out their emotions.
7. I feel so sorry for you
With these words, we are trying to express empathy, but pity is not a very positive reputation. Not everyone wants to feel miserable for some people this phrase is offensive. The fact that you stayed there and supported, in itself means that you empathize person.
How do you feel about such phrases?