What to do when you are angry at
Many of us spend a lifetime in order not to offend anyone by accident. If you remember some serious discussions and made as a result of the election, you may find that many of the decisions you have taken it at the rate of not angering close. This is because we know little about what to do if someone is angry with you.
to ensure its security
To begin Feel if danger threatens you, or you can still start an honest and open dialogue. If you feel uncomfortable, increase the distance. If possible, go to where other people are. In no case do not stay in the room, from which there is another way out, for example, the bathroom, and avoid places where there are objects that can be used as a weapon.
Feel what you say
The worst thing you can do - at once to rush to solve the problem, rather than to understand the situation and why a man at all such a violent reaction to the problem. When people are angry, they begin to talk very provocative, that causes an emotional response and you. But it is important to just listen to the underlying message and ignore podkoly. Also, if you allow the other person to express his anger, the steam will go faster.
Remember that anger is not a bad man does interlocutor
We have some idea of what people are angry. Many even believe that if you keep much angry, you're not a very nice person. It is important to be aware of this bias, not to inadvertently become a victim and not to destroy the good relationship because of stereotypes.
Your response to anger the other person says a lot about your own beliefs. If you think that you are too rough talk, it shows how you feel about the manifestation of anger in principle. And, most likely, you're constantly suppress their feelings.
If you're going to react calmly, it will help to defuse the tension. A rough answer, as a rule, only worsens the situation. Try to walk and paused before continuing dialogue.
Do not try to shut down in a dispute
Generally, we are taught to defend and keep your emotions to yourself during major confrontations. But psychologist Lillian Ostrowski recommends interlocutor to express how controversial do you feel, what you think and what you feel:
"I'm confused. I do not know how to continue the conversation, because on the one hand, I think you're being unfair to me, but on the other hand, our relations are very important. "
This is a good way to start an open dialogue, and it will show a lot man in anger.
Be curious. If he is angry at something in your words, find out what was bothering him in them, and if he thinks that you do it on purpose. Try to see the point of view of another person, even if you do not agree with it.
Be an active listener. Show me what you're really attentive to the words. Keep eye contact and occasionally repeat what the source says.
Do not mention your circumstances
Your reason to do a certain way can only inflame the conflict. Even if your intentions were exceptionally good at the moment a person is dealing with the consequences of your actions, and they do not like him.
Say, now that you understand how your actions affected him. It will even help you to feel better situation.
It is appropriate to ask: "What can I do to help in this situation?". After all, it makes the person look for solutions. In addition, it is a great way to help a person to understand that he is someone who really cares about his affairs. Not to mention the fact that the new decision will be mutual and coordinated.
If a person is still much annoyed, perhaps, you just need to give him a little time. Be patient and attentive to his further words. Any relationship can disorders, but that does not mean you have to give up on them.
As strange as it may sound, but the quarrel help people get closer. Problem solving and discussion of previous experience, which led to the dispute, really helps to improve your relationship.