Gazlayting: what to do if you are convinced of sin

Eugene works in his department for five years. She offered to move to another position in the company, where salaries are higher. However, we have to stay on a trial basis to determine whether it is able to take on new responsibilities. Jack meets with their new leader, Nikita. He first she liked with him a pleasure to work. She timely perform all the tasks.

Soon Head offers her more and more small, not included in its duty orders that begin to absorb all the time. Eugene cope with everything, but it begins to seem that the bar rising markedly. Finally, the amount of work passes all reasonable limits, and she tells Nikita that she needed to focus on core responsibilities.

At the next meeting, he speaks for all: "While Jack is still not with us, I hope she will understand the importance of team spirit and effort!". She blushes and feels that it publicly insulted, but does not say a word against it, because you want to get a new job. Later, the chief asks himself why he believes that it is not trying. Nikita tells him that Jack had misunderstood him. He just wanted to say that it has not yet got used to the new pace of work, so it pays to turn to others for help. In an effort to prove the opposite, Jack has taken on himself all the requirements and obligations, regardless of how much her main job.

Gazlayting does not always happen in a relationship pairs. This violence is everywhere: in relationships with colleagues, and relatives, it undermines the reality of the victims and makes it vulnerable to mistreatment. Not all gazlaytery do so deliberately, but the leaders of cults and dictators definitely do so with a full understanding of the situation. The goal - to question the victim that she was completely dependent on abyuzera. Often these are people with borderline personality disorder or sociopathy, because they have a growing need to control others. Each of us there were occasions when I had to say, what not to understand, or to convince blatant untruth, or simply disagree with someone else's interpretation of events. Gazlaytingom but it will be considered only the emotional terror.

Daffodils - as Teflon: nothing sticks to them. They do not take responsibility for their actions do not recognize guilt for fraud, theft and other things. They build complex justify and rationalize everything. When they are caught in the hot, daffodils pretend that they were forced to do so.

Psychologist Ramani Durvasula

How to deal?

If you feel that your self-esteem, self-confidence and independence gradually lose their power because of someone else's words, know: Fortunately, this can be overcome.

Analyze

Think about who you oppresses and makes you feel undervalued. Pay attention to the signs that you are exposed to gazlaytingu and

make a list of incidents or events to which you can refer.

Keep everything: blog entries, sms, record conversations, photos and videos. Be sure to comment that you experienced and why it is not acceptable to you. This will help to remain in their own reality, and not focus on false memories imposed abyuzerom.

Divert statement

You just can repeat the same statement, pretending that it is true. Create "anchor-looking statements", which will help to pay attention to what you are abusing. This may be the same blog entries or citations. Remind yourself that it is not necessary to doubt the reality experienced and minimizing my feelings. Decide whether to continue this relationship, be it romantic, friendship or working relationship. If this applies to relationships with colleagues, think about whether or not this work order. If the answer come up with ways to minimize the contact with that person until such time until you feel confident.

Do not wait frank confession

Stop hoping that abyuzer admits his guilt. He has too much invested in support of his view of events so will never recognize the fact manipulation. Limit your contact with this person, and distanced itself from its surroundings.

Recommend to others

Consult with people who you trust to check the real situation. In the movie "Gazlayt", due to which there was a term, Paul realizes that all the time was right, just after the Inspector confirmed the flickering lights. Find a psychologist who specializes in traumatic memories and understand the work of latent violence. Describe what you felt like it was going through. Does not focus on how events unfolded in the eyes of your abuser. Some victims helps public story and advice to other victims experiencing similar.

Write to remember to

Write down your story and all the changes in your attitude to what is happening. Take away the experience and desires of abyuzera requirements. It may look quite simple, like the heroine of this article: Igor called me today very harsh words, but I asked to stop doing so. I began to feel that I was humiliated! And the next day, when I told about this, he replied that I was too nervous about. But in fact, he does not respect my wishes. My feelings for him seem to have no meaning.

Change your perception of

Change your locus of attention in order to be a "victim" to being a "winner" in this difficult situation. No need to be a victim for the rest of life, so that, to recover, to help others.