The therapist answers to personal questions that many would like to ask
34-year-old Daniel Wagner in Cologne, Germany, openly answered a few questions that many would like to ask the psychotherapist.
Is it true that most of the therapists themselves are struggling with mental health problems?
Daniel Wagner: This popular belief there may be some truth. Of course, some of my colleagues may fall into this category. On the other hand, who can actually explain what it means to "normal"? Personally, I can not. Due to its practice, I realized one thing: there is no clear distinction between mental health and mental illness. Everyone has their own quirks, and most have passed through a difficult childhood experiences.
What are your worst childhood memories?
My childhood was certainly not difficult. But, as a therapist, I had to learn to think about his childhood. Personally, I was a "harmonizer" (people-oriented people, it is interesting to communicate, he avoids conflict, think how not to offend the interlocutor). When between my brother and parents conflicts arose, I tried to help resolve them. With such a character may not be easy in life - you have to focus on the welfare of others and do not think about yourself. Today I know how important it is to take care of yourself as well.
Have you ever been annoyed "nagging" of your customers?
I do not think it's "nagging". Well, if someone decides to turn to a therapist, so he does have a problem. No one comes to the therapist only in order to get a good cry. The fact that some take for "nagging", I consider, as a manifestation of a deeper problem.
As a psychotherapist, you are bound to keep secret all that tells your customer. But, in reality, how often do you share with your friends "interesting cases" of your practice?
Indeed, these cases are quite a few, and the temptation to discuss them with your friends is great. But I will never give in to this temptation. The confidentiality - one of the most important rules in my work.
Among my clients are well-known politicians, actors and businessmen. It is important to keep your mouth shut, even if I find out about this is really a serious matter such as malfeasance. Sometimes I find out about upcoming scandal even before the reports about him, quite literally, blow up the media.
How often do you catch their customers on a lie?
This happens, for example, when it comes to impotence. Many men do not talk about it at the first meeting with the therapist. Some even try to behave like a man stressed to make a good impression. But as soon as they are imbued with confidence to me, they talk about their problems. This is a normal situation. I'm not a cop and not a lawyer, my job is not to convict people in falsehood, and to help them cope with their problems.
Did you have customers you afraid of?
There were situations when a client showed aggression. But I was never afraid that someone nakinetsya at me with his fists. Sometimes I worry that something might happen to my client or other people around him. For example, because I have to work with different people, including pedophiles. Of course, I am worried that this client can succumb to the impulse of his thought can go into action, and he had done something terrible.
Did you have customers who have tried to commit suicide?
Fortunately, while there were not. But it is likely that this could happen at any stage of my work. If a client tells me that he wants to commit suicide, I have to decide whether it will live up to our next meeting, and I have to protect him from himself, placing it in an appropriate place where it will be the overnight care. However, such cases are very rare. With customers can usually find common ground and to dissuade them from irreparable.
Can you make sure that your client started to cry, if you want to order?
I do not think. No. Even if I knew how to hit home why I would do it? In my work, the likelihood that the customer will cry during the session, and so is about 50%. Tears welling themselves.
How often do customers fall in love with you?
Sometimes it happens - with both men and women. Some pretty straightforward, but more often simply asked to talk to them outside the cabinet. I understand what motivates my clients, because as a physician, I have them in any way to listen carefully, to penetrate their feelings, take everything very seriously, and be helpful to them - of course, all this has to my people.
So I tell clients that their location flatters me, and then try to explain that actually gives them a location (all of the above). I do not twist the novels with clients. I am forbidden by law to enter into private or business relationship with the client until after the 10 years since our last session.
As a person feels at a reception at the psychotherapist?
I think the reception at the therapist - the best thing that can happen to you. Do you think it easy to find a knowledgeable person who can help to cope with emotions? He also knows how to listen when you talk about your experiences. Is not that great?