How to support a man who lost his parents

Social support plays a vital role in how people cope with bereavement. Our culture is not made a lot of talk about grief, but it is something with which faced by each of us. Heroine has collected important tips on how to support people who have lost their parents or other relatives.

Be near any means

Just tell the person in grief: "Let me know if you need anything" - not a very effective idea. In this state, he is lost, he does not understand what he wants, and is not always able to adequately articulate the request and declare it.

Try to be present in the life of a loved one by any means. Preparing breakfast. Do the cleaning. Walk the dog. Bring a book that he is interested in (not associated with the loss). Invite for a walk.

You do not have to actively pull out and distract a person from losing, as is often shown in the movies. Woe be lived, not denying it and downplaying its significance, the only way to get out of this state in a healthy way. Do not bother him to feel the pain, but stay close. Help to cope with everyday household problems, which in a state of despair a person does not have enough internal resources.

Do care about it as part of its routine

Grief from the loss of family does not go through a month or even a year. It constantly pursues man, even though formally it was back to normal life - going to work, communicating with friends.

We all know and remember about this pain, when it is obvious - for example, after the funeral took place less than a month. But the sense of loss remains with the person, even when it is already forgotten. After a few months or a year to ask for help is more complex than immediately after the tragedy - because people around her think that you have to cope with it. Show me what you important state friend or another no matter how long ago it or he lost a parent. Invites, come herself with ice cream and fresh show, sometimes ask him if about anything to talk to one. And do not expect anything in return, do it simply because it is right.

Give him the opportunity to share experiences

Maybe your friend wants to talk about how he misses his parents. About experiences related to their loss. On the pleasant moments that they had. About childhood memories. Such conversations can occur regularly, because almost every thing around reminds the person of the family.

All that is required from you at this moment - listen. Hold his hand, pour the tea, bring paper handkerchiefs, if required. Laugh at his funny stories and crying over the sad.

Do not try to interrupt this his condition. Do not say, "eventually you'll feel better," "it happens with all", "everything will work out." These phrases devalue human experience, in addition to those who lost loved ones, all will never get better.

Located next to the person experiencing grief, hard and uncomfortable, but that's no reason to force him to get out of this state as soon as possible. It should not reflect your views on how a person looks like a mourner, and how long he has the right to grieve.

Help me find a specialist, if necessary

Most often deal with a serious loss is impossible without professional psychological help. No matter how empathetic and supportive nor had friends, they are not experts. In addition, they unwittingly, can give bad advice and frankly only aggravate the condition of grief. For example, sharply distracted by bereavement or separation from loved ones: bump into work, go on dates, travel - in our society, it is still considered to be good advice, but in reality they are aimed at suppressing emotions, rather than on their accommodation.

Do not wait, when one asks himself about the psychological care. Look for experts, find out prices, location, competence and offer individual turnkey solution - go to a specific therapist and try to talk to him about what happened. Forcing a person in distress is not necessary to seek help, but let him see the option to turn to him when he's ready.

Remember the important dates

Even when the trauma is delayed, will the days that last a lifetime bind man to his loss. When the time comes, ask your friend what dates associated with their parents, are especially significant for him. In our culture, it is usually the birthdays and death days, but it can also be a Mother's Day, Parents' Day, the anniversary of their wedding or any other event.

It is important that these days, people always knew that he was not alone with his grief. Set a reminder on your calendar and find ways to attend: come in person, go together to the cemetery or memorial sites, in extreme cases, to call. When a person is in distress do not need to ask for help and to burden others with their loss and help she comes to him - it is a great support and comfort.