11 evidence that you are unhappy because his mother
Your relationship with your mother - one of the first relationships in life, so they greatly affect the way you live and which you build relationships with others in the future. The good news is that you can overcome a lot, attaching to it a little bit of effort. First, let's define what you really have difficulty in the present tense, and they called it the influence of toxic mother.
1. All your goals are designed to impress her
Your childhood with toxic mother may well be the starting point for the emergence of a desire to get her approval, doing what you really would not want to. You perform actions with the subconscious thought that they like it, and then waiting for her reaction. It could be the entrance to the university; and love with someone whom she respects; and the work that she would like for you. Do you constantly check that it is aware of the new developments, and disappointed, if your efforts do not lead to the expected reaction. Remember that your achievements are valuable, even if she does not see it.
2. You catch yourself that you act like it
If your childhood was spent in a toxic home, you probably vowed that will never behave like your parents. But the way we behave as adults, largely depends on our installations as a child. It is not surprising, if you copy these unhealthy patterns. When you realize that many of your words and actions are reminiscent of the behavior of your mother, it could turn into panic. However, if you otneseshsya to their habits carefully and rethink their proanaliziruesh reaction, you can develop a healthy personality.
3. Do you hear her voice in my head
Sometimes moms words literally sound echoing in your head, even if you did not talk for years, or have developed their relationship when you've been an adult. You're making a mistake, and is brought to you, "You can not do anything right!". Or do you even say to yourself itself about it. With this negative record, lost again and again, it is difficult to work, but still possible. Just remember that you have the right to be wrong, and it does not make you a bad person.
4. You think about it all the time
If the mother has been a major source of stress in your childhood, you'd like to move on and not to think about it once again. Easier said than done: you regularly remember unpleasant comments, which she lets go over your study, or fingering scandals. She still takes up more of your mind than you would like to allow it. And it affects your emotions are stronger than you think.
5. Are you worried about her mood
Your mood often varies depending on the answer to the question "How are you?" And you steal up under her own reaction to the word. Your boundaries are violated, and you try to move your space away from her bad comments, and therefore give less room for itself.
6. It is your main motivator
You grew up under the mother's cries, you never did not reach? Or that you're a big disappointment for her? These harsh words can be a motivator for all of your training and subsequent years. You are controllable by her words, even if they do help you to fight and achieve great things.
7. You meet with someone like her
You repeat the model of relations that you have with the mother, with many others throughout their lives. It seems a little strange, but this is because this type of relationship you already seem familiar. Also, sometimes people give birth to such a relationship with the hope that they will finally be able to achieve human love, which occupies a central place in their lives.
8. You have a problem with the boundaries of
Your mother is quite toxic could affect your ability to find healthy relationships and to maintain them, your boundaries are not modeled, so that you are struggling to understand where it ends, you and where the other person begins. Everywhere seems a threat, if the partner a different opinion or preference. You too become attached emotionally closed, or vice versa.
9. You're a perfectionist
If you are a very tough attitude to his work, it definitely has to do with how you were raised, and the bad words that stuck in your head. People who have grown up in a toxic environment, feel that never live up to expectations of others and try to be the best. But still do not get the love and attention from others. They may also be hypersensitive to criticism, struggle with eating disorders and even prone to alcoholism and drug addiction. It is difficult to put up with it, knowing how much it affected your mother. But this is a serious step towards the improvement of their lives.
10. Do you feel guilty at all
No matter what has happened in your life - you are going through, it's all your fault. Some toxic mother accused of children that they have destroyed their lives. Constant feeling of guilt is taking root, and you may feel that you are doing everything wrong and is about to commit a big mistake.
11. You're trying to please everyone
If you have a child is constantly trying to please other people's desires, in adulthood it becomes dangerous forms. For example, you buy gifts to mothers who can not afford. In other respects, you can give everything, not only money, but also to other resources - time and emotions - believing that only in this way will achieve the favor.